BLOGs, Rants, and Raves

Greetings, and now for a story from Drako Swiftclaw.  Founder of Drako's Den and Playground.

Yes, the first 5 years of my life, I went by Jmac Paul Carthage -- which later became Drako Swiftclaw.  The latter of which I hold LEGAL rights to and aside from a 10 year stint as Drako Tags, (while mated to a very lovely Mix Tags, whom I miss dearly and due to outside influences -- was a relationship I royally fucked up on) have held that name for a majority of my life.

Now I know I am far from perfect.  I have made some mistakes in my past, and hopefully have been able to learn from them.  Now sure, those mistakes stem from issues regard mood swings and the like -- but I have NEVER broken the law, and would never want to.  At least not on purpose.  A big chunk as to why stems from the fact that I do come from a law and order background -- being a volunteer for a public security agency that has a propensity to record _everything_ you do.  (Yes, I've been/am a narc.)

Lets rewind to 2005 (yep, I've had this name that long) and I was mated to a friendly -- albeit a bit cocky - wolf.  We had a nearby local friend who wanted to hang out.  Sure.  Now at the time, I will  just say the relationship was "complicated"  -- and this is relevant.  During said visit, some of my kinks came out, and this friend was actually -worse-  (into something that I'd never touch) and he got my mate stoned out of his mind on some laced shit, then proceeded to try to force himself onto both of us (including with that kink).  I was sober and sane at the time and saw what was happening and fled the scene of his home, calling the police on the way.

I dunno what the police saw when they got there, but this person got into serious legal trouble over his actions and took it personally against me.  The problem, he had a cult of followers who learned of what happened and decided to smear my name.  And since some of my kinks became known, they had fuel for the fire.  So the smear campaigns began, and never actually stopped.

Now coming back to the present, I am learning that aside from the issues from that cult following and the issues that spread from it -- others have since taken my name (either the first or last) and have been using it to cause all kinds of drama as well.  It was no help I personally knew of at least 2-3 others who shared my -first- name from 2005ish and at least one of them was a complete asshole who also had a hard time taking no for an answer.

So, I have to state this.  I am not associated with anyone else who uses my first or last name and aside from the time I became aware of someone in the UK literally stealing my identity to be an asshole -- none of the others I'm aware of are a tabby-twogon.  So please be mindful of who you are interacting with.  Drama from other Drako's or other Swiftclaws are not from me or my family, as I have always been a rather shy individual who doesn't say too much -- and can be easily overwhelmed by crowds and drama, so I tend to avoid them as best as possible.

I have reason to fear those who attempt to smear my name, while using only my association with certain kinks as "proof" with no other evidence -- along with those taking my name and causing drama while using parts of my name -- are all expansions from this ONE incident where I had to get someone into legal trouble because they broke the law.  That being said, I am not associated with any of them nor do I wish to be associated with any of their drama.

-----Going back to Mix-----

I know I screwed that one up.  I was young, dumb, and somewhat unstable emotionally.  Especially after being manipulated in the past and left feeling like I was worthless.

So, outside influences made me fear like I was nothing again in that relationship, and that I had to literally fight to keep my lovely wolf.  Because if I didn't, I would lose him.
It led to a lot of fights that I started -- and causing him emotional pain that I never wanted to actually cause him.
Fights I started over rumors -- and what I had to learn about not trusting rumors stemmed from this.

And I admit, some (most) of those stemmed from not having the warmth of him at my side at night -- but was exasperated by the words spoken to me from others.

And while I will always remain sorry for that bad behavior, I learn from it and even then, we still talk from time to time.
I still care deeply about them and that will never change as they will always have that place in my heart, and sometimes I wonder if they still care about me -- considering the check ins.